The Art of Saying “No”: Navigating College Life with Boundaries

Aliyah Pitt, Contributing Writer

College often feels like a race with no foreseeable finish line. Between classes, clubs, jobs, internships, and the constant pull of social life, students face a never-ending list of opportunities and obligations. The pressure to say “yes” to everything can feel overwhelming, as ambition is celebrated and productivity is often treated as a measure of worth. However, while eagerness can open doors, it also risks closing another: peace of mind.

The Guilt of Saying “No”

For many students, the hardest part of saying “no” is battling the guilt that accompanies it. College teaches responsibility, yet it rarely provides lessons on boundary-setting. When peers seem to handle full schedules with ease, turning down an opportunity can feel like falling behind. This guilt can lead to a cycle of overcommitment, where students agree to cover a coworker’s shift, stay up late to finish a group project, or volunteer for yet another event, all in the name of being involved.

The Cumulative Effect of Overcommitment

Agreeing to every request may seem harmless at first, but the cumulative effect can be overwhelming. The culture of overcommitment doesn’t just fall back on students; institutions like VCU pride themselves on student involvement and community engagement. While these experiences are undeniably valuable, they come with the unspoken expectation that students must juggle everything at once to be considered “truly involved.”

Each additional commitment chips away at the limited hours in a day, leaving less time for rest, hobbies, or simply breathing. Students often underestimate how quickly this cycle can spiral into burnout. In the quest to prove themselves, they sacrifice the energy needed to perform well. Sleep schedules collapse, friendships suffer, and, worst of all, mental health deteriorates.

The Impact of Anxiety on Academic Performance

According to the American College Health Association’s spring 2025 report, over 30% of undergraduate students reported that their academic performance was negatively impacted by anxiety. While many factors contribute to this statistic, the culture of overextension is an undeniable culprit. The pressure to be involved can lead to a toxic cycle where students feel they must constantly prove their worth through busyness.

Embracing the Power of “No”

Learning to say “no” is more than an act of self-preservation; it is a form of resistance against burnout. Refusing an extra responsibility does not equate to laziness or a lack of ambition. Instead, it signifies an awareness of personal limits and a commitment to protecting one’s well-being. Boundaries are not weaknesses; they are tools of strength.

With fewer commitments, students can devote more time to the activities and relationships that truly matter to them. Instead of scattering their energy across numerous obligations, they can focus on excelling in areas that align with their passions. This shift not only enhances personal satisfaction but also fosters a more sustainable approach to success.

Institutional Support for Mental Health

Colleges can and should support a standard that prioritizes mental health. Faculty members can normalize discussions about workload, emphasizing quality over quantity, and reminding students that burnout helps no one. Career advisers can guide students toward opportunities that align with their values rather than encouraging them to chase every opportunity for the sake of their resumes.

At VCU, for example, students have access to free counseling services that offer mental health resources and confidential, one-on-one sessions. The Student Success Office also provides assistance with tutoring, time management, and academic coaching, helping students navigate their commitments more effectively.

Accountability in Decision-Making

Ultimately, students must hold themselves accountable. The next time someone asks for help, it’s essential to pause and reflect: “Is this request manageable? Does it align with my personal goals? Or will it simply add stress to my life without any meaningful reward?”

Success in college isn’t about collecting the most achievements; it’s about building a foundation for a healthy, sustainable future. It involves pacing oneself, setting boundaries, and recognizing limits. Sometimes, the most valuable “yes” is the one given to the thought of resting and accepting help when needed most.