Exploring "Crush" by Ada Calhoun: A Deep Dive into Midlife Love and Longing
Introduction to "Crush"
Ada Calhoun’s debut novel, "Crush," emerges as a compelling narrative that intertwines the complexities of love, fidelity, and self-discovery. Drawing comparisons to Elizabeth Gilbert’s "Eat Pray Love" and the iconic "Sex and the City" columns, Calhoun crafts a story that resonates with the experiences of a Gen X woman navigating the tumultuous waters of midlife relationships. The protagonist, whose name remains undisclosed, finds herself at a crossroads when her husband, Paul, suggests she explore romantic connections outside their marriage to rekindle her "sparkle." This premise sets the stage for a rich exploration of desire, commitment, and the societal expectations that shape our choices.
The Premise: A Journey of Self-Discovery
At the heart of "Crush" is the narrator’s struggle with her identity as both a successful author and a wife. As the primary breadwinner, she juggles multiple writing jobs while Paul grapples with his artistic ambitions, leading to a palpable tension in their marriage. The suggestion to kiss other men, rather than liberating her, becomes a source of inner conflict. Instead of embarking on a journey of sexual exploration, she finds herself wrestling with guilt and the fear of infidelity, which ultimately stifles her potential for self-discovery. This internal battle raises questions about the nature of love and the sacrifices often made in the name of commitment.
Generational Perspectives on Love and Relationships
Calhoun’s narrative is steeped in the generational context of the late 20th century, a time when societal norms around marriage and fidelity were rigidly defined. The protagonist’s reflections on her life reveal a sense of entrapment that feels anachronistic for a woman born in the late 1970s. The author poignantly captures the essence of this struggle, as the narrator grapples with the notion that her challenges are remnants of an earlier era. The line, “Don’t we make our own cages? When we rattle the bars don’t we often find that they are made of cardboard?” encapsulates the tension between personal agency and societal expectations.
The Emotional Affair: A Complex Web of Feelings
The introduction of David, a hot, nerdy religion professor, serves as the catalyst for the narrator’s emotional turmoil. Their correspondence, filled with philosophical musings and literary references, becomes a sanctuary for her unexpressed desires. However, the lengthy exchanges—totaling 182,000 words over six weeks—often feel excessive, diluting the urgency of their connection. Calhoun cleverly intertwines references to Emerson and Nietzsche, elevating their relationship beyond mere infatuation to a profound exploration of love’s complexities. Yet, this intellectualization can sometimes overshadow the raw emotions that typically accompany such affairs.
The Role of Friendship and Community
Throughout "Crush," the theme of friendship emerges as a crucial element in the protagonist’s journey. The narrator’s relationships with her friends provide a contrasting backdrop to her marital struggles, highlighting the importance of community in navigating personal crises. These friendships serve as a reminder that love can take many forms, and that emotional support is vital in times of uncertainty. The protagonist’s reflections on her friendships underscore the idea that while romantic love is significant, the bonds we forge with friends can be equally transformative.
Cultural Commentary on Marriage and Fidelity
Calhoun’s novel also serves as a cultural commentary on the institution of marriage and the evolving definitions of fidelity. The protagonist’s reluctance to consider divorce, despite her dissatisfaction, reflects a broader societal belief that a “broken home” is detrimental to children. This perspective, while rooted in tradition, invites readers to question the validity of such beliefs in contemporary society. The narrative challenges the notion that love must be confined to one partner, suggesting instead that exploring connections outside of marriage could lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
Conclusion: A Reflection on Desire and Identity
"Crush" is more than just a story about infidelity; it is a profound exploration of desire, identity, and the complexities of modern relationships. Ada Calhoun invites readers to reflect on their own experiences with love and commitment, encouraging a dialogue about the choices we make in the name of happiness. Through the lens of a Gen X woman, Calhoun captures the essence of midlife longing, making "Crush" a relatable and thought-provoking read for anyone navigating the intricacies of love in today’s world.
